I have diabetes. You have no idea how hard it is for me to type that sentence. It’s so hard, in fact, that it’s taken me over a week to get the nerve up to write this post. You see, my father died of complications from diabetes ten years ago. So this disease has become one of my biggest fears. And now I have it.
I’ve only lived with diabetes for a week, but each day I wake up and obsess over all the things that can go wrong with me now. I’m frightened, even terrified. If any one of you, dear readers, has a chronic illness, I praise you for your bravery. It seems as if the thought of diabetes has taken over my life and my mind. Each night I end up crying thinking about how the disease ravaged my father’s body.
I didn’t think I could ever learn to live with diabetes, it felt like an uphill battle. As I was pacing the floor, trying to come to terms with my new life and all I had to do now—watch what I eat, test my blood sugar, take a new medication—when I caught a glimpse of a board I made of positive quotes. It was one by the band Coldplay that says, “But if you never try you’ll never know just what you’re worth.”
That quote, out of all the others, was the only one I saw. It reminded me that my father’s story is not my story, even though his story is part of mine. And, more importantly, it reminded me that no matter how hard a battle we are thrown into, we have to fight.