Today is the Feast day of St. Thomas the Apostle. I have to admit, other than for him being known as “doubting” Thomas, I do not know much about him. But the fact that he had a moment of doubt was just one of the ways that the Apostles appear human, and for that, I will always have a place in my heart for St. Thomas.
Like St. Thomas, I have had moments in my life where I doubted the presence of God. He had to literally touch Jesus to know that it was truly Him.
I can clearly recall a time in the past few months even, when I felt hopeless and could not feel the light of God in the darkness of my life. Like Thomas, even though Jesus was there in front of me, I thought I had to “feel” him to believe in Him.
It took me a long time to realize that even at those times where we do not feel God’s presence, He is still there with us. Looking back, I can see how God was working in my life behind the scenes, waiting for me to put out my hand to touch Him.
I’ll give you one example of how Jesus was working in my life when I had moments of doubt: during a particularly rough patch of life, where things seemed as if everything was suffering, my health, my work, and my family, I had friends there who would pray for me and lift me up each and every day. I can clearly see now that they were working in my life as instruments of God that He gave me when I most needed them.
It was only when my doubt turned to hope and faith that I was able to see and feel God.
Was there a time in your life when you felt like a doubting Thomas? I don’t think Thomas should get such a bad reputation, because he is like us all in his doubt, and in his belief. What do you think?